


A little help here?

by iimbe2iile



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Embarrassment, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Guilt, Human Wheatley, Masturbation, Rating May Change, Wheatley just wants to be loved, be on the lookout for that, but also fluff and cuteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24142480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iimbe2iile/pseuds/iimbe2iile
Summary: “Advice? From you?” Wheatley scoffed. “Alright, hit me with your wisdom, Mr. Venture.”“Don’t think I don’t notice you hittin’ ol’ Chell with the googly eyes,” Rick mused. “Hell, when you look at her I could tap you on the shoulder and send you tippin’ to the floor. I’ve seen that look before. A look that says you’re stark, head-over-heels in love.”
Relationships: Chell/Wheatley (Portal)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 42





	A little help here?

**Author's Note:**

> I read a fic about Wheatley and Chell the other day and I really liked the plot, but it was terribly written :/ I was just gonna rewrite it, but decided to come up with a plot of my own to add some actually good content to this relationship tag :) It's not going to be too long, but hopefully some people enjoy this! I was just sad to not really see any quality content for Wheatley, so I'm trying my best to deliver!

“Hello!” Wheatley choked out as he ran through the door, doing his best to juggle two trays of drinks. “Sorry I’m late. But! But I brought drinks. Exactly what everyone likes, how about that?” Some of the people in nearby cubicles looked up, but most of them didn’t really acknowledge Wheatley’s presence at all. 

Caroline glanced up from where she was behind the front desk, flashing him an unimpressed look. “For the last time,” she sighed. “Bringing in beverages does not in any way excuse your absence. What was it this time, ran over yourself with your car?”

“No,” Wheatley nervously laughed. “No, I didn’t--no cars involved. I just, ah, overslept. Must’ve--just me not thinking, really. Forgot to set the alarm, or, or I guess I just really checked out last night. Just a real, real good sleep. That’s all.” 

She hummed, looking back down at her computer. “Set down my coffee and clock in. You have a lot to catch up on, I’m sure.” 

“Right,” he whispered, balancing a tray on his knee and clumsily picking out her drink, setting down. “I’ll get right to it.” 

Letting out a sigh of relief, he walked around the office and handed out the coffees. Mostly everyone took theirs with nothing more than a small, appreciative nod (except Space, who nodded vigorously and mumbled a slur of thank you’s as he was handed a monstrosity containing 9 shots of espresso). It wasn’t rare that Wheatley brought drinks to cover up being late. He mindlessly placed drinks down on people’s desks, only stopping when he arrived at Chell’s. 

He swallowed, looking up at her as he placed a drink next to her keyboard. 

“Morning, luv,” he nervously smirked, his voice strangely soft. “Coffee. As per usual.” 

Chell looked up at him, flashing him back a smile that made his knees a little week. 

“Got you what you like. Obviously. Not like I would get you something you _didn’t_ like. Be a bit counterproductive, wouldn’t it?” She nodded and he cleared his throat. “Brilliant. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Sure you got… lots of work to do. You know, with being at work and all that. See you ‘round, yeah? Keep up the--all the good work I’m sure you’re up to.” She gave him one last small grin before taking a sip of her drink and turning back to her computer. “Lovely,” he said to himself, backpedaling towards his own cubicle. 

Wheatley hummed a satisfactory note to himself, watching Chell get back to typing with a dreamy look on his face. Before he could stop himself, he distractedly bumped into someone standing in the middle of the door to his cubicle. 

“Oh, sorry mate! I--” He paused, gripping his coffee a little tighter. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Heya,” Rick smirked, leaning up against the wall of Wheatley’s corner. 

“Can I help you? Or is this just the--the part where you needlessly harass me about something?” Wheatley rolled his eyes, pushing past Rick to sit in his chair. “Because you know, I think there are actually a few women around the office you haven’t made uncomfortable today. I’m sure they’re just dying to see you.”

“Owch,” Rick said, holding up a hand to his heart in mock offence. “No need to be like that, now. I just thought I’d offer some friendly advice, is all.”

“Advice? From you?” Wheatley scoffed. “Alright, hit me with your wisdom, Mr. Venture.”

“Don’t think I don’t notice you hittin’ ol’ Chell with the googly eyes,” Rick mused. “Hell, when you look at her I could tap you on the shoulder and send you tippin’ to the floor. I’ve seen that look before. A look that says you’re stark, head-over-heels in love.”

Wheatley stammered out a few nonsense words before looking up at Rick with a glare. “That is--! Alright for one, you’re wrong. It’s--What eyes I’m making in none of your business! Not that I was even making eyes at anyone in the first place! No--There’s been no eye-having. And if there was--which there wasn’t, by the way--that would be absolutely no concern of yours.”

Rick solemnly nodded. “Oh, you got it bad, bud.”

“Got what bad? I’ve got absolutely nothing.”

“You ever laid with a woman?”

“Laid--what? Done what?”

“Y’know, taken part in the fiery beauty of sexual intercourse.”

Wheatley sputtered out something resembling a sentence, heat blooming along his cheeks and neck. “That is--! Look here! That is absolutely not an--we’re at work, for God’s sake!”

Rick nodded like Wheatley answered his question. “Yeah, I thought not.”

“NO, I’ve--I’ve been with plenty of women, alright? Not--Not too many, but enough. And we’ve, not that it’s any business of yours, but we’ve done… things. Bedroom things. Plenty of times, yeah. It’s just a hobby of mine, doing stuff like that, alright? So don’t worry about it.” 

“I just had one around last night,” Rick continued as if Wheatley had not said anything. “Let me tell you somethin’, little man. There’s nothing more beautiful and primal than being inside of a woman. I of course have ladies coming at me left and right, but I had a special one once, too. One that’s different than all the rest.”

“Please stop wherever this is going--”

“Everyone has that one special lady in their life that’s better than all the rest. Opportunities to get ‘em come ‘round once in a lifetime, little buddy. You can be hookin’ up with gals left and right, but there’s always that one that’s better than all the rest. The one that’ll stick around until morning and make you breakfast. The one that makes all your troubles go away.”

“I--wow, I have never hated having a conversation this much… hm, yes, ever. I don’t think I’ve ever loathed a discussion more than this one.”

“Imagine,” Rick closed his eyes, leaning down on one knee and resting a hand on Wheatley’s shoulder, “what it would feel like to be in bed with her. To run a hand through her hair and whisper on her skin. To look into her eyes as you push inside her, your sweaty bodies moving to the natural rhythm of your lovemaking.”

Wheatley’s face might as well have been pressed against a stovetop with how bad he was burning up. There was a flash of something in his mind. A whisper of an image. Him pressed up against Chell, skin on skin. That alone was enough to make him violently shake his head and push Rick away.

“Nonononono,” Wheatley objected. “No! You’re not--this conversation is over. It’s so over, in fact, that I didn’t even hear anything you said, and you should definitely leave. Now.”

“She’s a lovely lady,” Rick sighed as he stood up. “Not only gorgeous, but sweet. Kind. But she’s hard, doesn’t take any shit.”

“Not listening--!”

“Women like that don’t come ‘round often. If you don’t go for it, someone else will.”

That sentence made Wheatley go quiet. 

Rick nodded. “I’m rootin’ for ya, Wheatley. Get the girl, will ya?”

He watched Rick saunter on back to his own desk, leaving Wheatley alone with his thoughts. 

That was ominous. ‘Someone else will.’ Who else--Rick? Some rando around the office? He guessed it wasn’t exactly fair to place Chell on hold until Wheatley gathered up the courage to really talk to her, but he never really thought about someone else intervening. He always just kind of assumed things would work out in the end, if he stuck to it. Or at the least, things would stay the same. Now that he thinks about it, though, who wouldn’t want to be with Chell? Like Rick said, she’s special. It only makes sense that other men would be after her as well. 

Shaking his head, he decided to not take anything that cowboy said seriously. Rick was someone who could easily sweet-talk his way into your mind if you allowed him to. It was best to disregard whatever the hell he was talking about.

Wheatley took in one last big sigh before booting up his computer. One look at his email confirmed Caroline’s belief: he had a lot to catch up on. 

\-----------------------

“I’m home,” Wheatley called out to no one in particular. Even though he lived alone in his little apartment, it always felt weird to not greet the place. Whether he was talking to himself or the building, he did not know. After not really having anyone in his personal life for so long, he’d taken up a habit of talking aloud, narrating what he was doing. It felt unnatural to sit alone in silence for so many hours. 

He made his way over to the couch, kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on the floor in the process. He sighed, sinking down into the cushion. 

“Man alive,” he quietly breathed. “This job is going to be the death of me, I swear. Never had a boss assign so much paperwork. Tests--It’s supposed to be about the tests. I’d rather be out there testing them my--well, no. No, that’s a lie. Paperwork is much preferred over death. Not that there are too many deaths, oh no, they’re sure of that. Death means more paperwork. No one wants that.” 

Blindly reaching out to the side, Wheatley grabbed hold of the remote and started mindlessly switching through channels. He should probably get up and make dinner, but he wasn’t all that hungry. He had a decent enough lunch to tie him over until morning, anyway. Watching some telly and then heading to bed sounded like the greatest thing in the world right now. 

Yawning, Wheatley kept bringing his thumb up and down on the channel button in even intervals. Nothing good, stupid cable. He’d save up to buy Netflix or Hulu if he could, but they’re just too damn expensive. The rent here always sucks him dry. Aperture wasn’t the best for hours, or benefits, or even just money in general, but the thing was that it was really easy to keep a job there. They took in anyone, slapping them down at a desk and giving mounds of work well beyond their paygrade. It wasn’t the best, but it was something. Wheatley went through jobs like a drug addict went through cash, so Aperture was the best he could get at the moment. Beggars can’t be choosers, he supposed. 

Just as he was about to give it a rest and head to bed early, his thumb paused at the sight of two people really going at it. 

He wasn’t sure what show it was, didn’t recognize the actor or the actress, but the man had the woman held up against the wall and wow, he was really pounding into her. Nothing too explicit, it was cable after all, just a tasteful scene with their bodies silhouetted against the windows that lined the walls, revealing a stunning view of the city below as he rightly screwed her. 

Wheatley swallowed, making a face as he switched off the television. He tried to help it, but his mind wandered back to what Rick had been saying earlier that day. 

‘If you don’t go for it, someone else will.’

Wheatley wasn’t even sure what he was going for. In his mind, he’d always wanted something simple with her: to be able to hold her hand and kiss her cheek and call her beautiful. It had never been anything… sexual, per se. It didn’t cross his mind often, but when it did he cast it aside. What would Chell think of him if he went around thinking things like that? It was Rick’s thing to objectify women and Wheatley would prefer if it stayed that way. 

But then, what’s the harm of just thinking about it? He looked around as if someone might me listening in on his thoughts. He was alone. No one knew what he was thinking. Was it really so bad?

He nervously bit down on his thumb, bouncing his foot. 

Damn it, Rick found a way inside his head just like he always bloody does. 

Closing his eyes, Wheatley decided to think about it just for a moment. His little secret. 

Where to even begin? Not that he’d ever confirm so out loud, but yeah, he’d never ‘laid with a woman,’ or a man for that matter. He had no clue what he was doing. And what if Chell wasn’t even into that? Or maybe she just didn’t want that with Wheatley? Even the thought of rejection made his chest tighten. 

Let’s say she even wanted to do… bedroom stuff with him. He’d have no idea where to start. 

_He hummed soft and low, his lips pressing against the side of her neck. She breathed out a soft sigh, her hand running up his side and he lowered her down against the mattress._

Wheatley opened his eyes, nervously looking around. Alright, he had no idea where that came from. He debated with himself for a moment before closing his eyes and allowing his mind to continue with the fantasy. 

_She looked up at him expectantly as she lifted her hands above her head, her mouth slightly parted open. Wheatley whispered a few small nothings, trailing a line of kisses up her stomach as he slowly slid up her shirt._

_She lifted her shoulders, but let him to all the work of undressing her. He laid wet pecks all along her soft skin as he threw her shirt to the side, then her bra, her pants, her underwear._

_He told her how beautiful she was. Ran his hands all along her exposed body. Breathed hard into her mouth as he kissed her._

_He tightly grabbed her wrists with one hand, pinning them above her head. He looked up at her and she nodded, closing her eyes. Wheatley gave her a soft smile he knew she couldn’t see as he lowered his free hand down, pressing two fingers into--_

Wheatley opened his eyes suddenly at the sound of a car alarm going off across the street. He felt a rush of heat wash over his face and a wave of tightness shoot through his groin. He stood up and cleared his throat, glancing around side-to-side. 

Wheatley had embarrassed himself publicly more times than he could count, but this feeling was one that traveled deep through him even though he was alone. Something bad and shameful. 

He pressed a palm against his crotch to relieve some uncomfortable pressure before heading over to his bedroom. 

He couldn’t think about her like that. It seemed wrong. He was a grown man, but he suddenly felt like a sweaty, nervous teenager as he headed to his room to ignore his erection. If he ever got off to the thought of her, Wheatley didn’t think he’d ever be able to look her in the eyes again. 

For now, he’d push whatever bullshit Rick spewed at him to the side and go to bed, hopefully to have innocent enough dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to talk, I have a [Portal Tumblr](https://human-flavoured-robot.tumblr.com/) where I'll gladly discuss about anything Portal!  
> If Tumblr isn't your thing, I also have an [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/angstflavoured/) where I've posted some Portal art. You can always dm there as well :)


End file.
